“I had this acceptance today that when things don’t go entirely as I plan in my own mind, it’s just a sign from something more powerful than myself telling me/urging me to go in the direction I’m truly destined for. It’s a way of guiding me to my purpose, to my calling, to my answer.”—
“I woke up this morning, reaching to feel and cuddle your muscular arm. You weren’t there. Instantly I felt lost. It’s been a month since you’ve been gone; I still think about you every night and every morning. Still adjusting to sleeping without you. I hope you’re okay, wherever you are. I miss you.”—
“Almost every weekend he drives 40 min to see me. We talk, we laugh, we eat, we watch tv, he falls asleep on the couch, we lay in bed, sometimes cuddled and other times just close enough, we kiss goodnight, we wake up in the middle of the night, sparks fly, we go back to sleep. It gets predicatable. All of a sudden, one night we’re laying in bed and he just blurts “18 seconds, we have 18 seconds to take off all our clothes and just lay here pretending like we’re not going to do anything. You ready?” After appreciating this unexpected spontaneity, the race is on. We lay there, naked, pretending like this is normal. We’ve barely known each other for 6 months, yet I feel totally comfortable in my vulnerable exposure. He leans in, as if irresistible, kissing me ceaselessly; moving his hands over me appreciating every inch of skin beside him. I felt, for the first time, the joy in the moment. He made me feel gorgeous. He made me feel flawless. Sparks fly. We lay next to each other, I hear a simple “you failed”, I look him in the eyes and reply softly “you started it”. We smile, kiss, and fall asleep. It’s these moments that reassure me that what I’m doing may not be ideal, but it’s what I need. Someone who cares. Someone who isn’t pushing me for commitment. No long term, just right here, right now. My heart isn’t empty, but it’s not in love. It’s happy, I’m happy. ”—
“1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
“We are the generation of nostalgia. We grew up in the age of transition. From hand-written letters to electronic mails. From film to digital. We were fascinated by new things, neglecting the way we spend our afternoons. Cupcakes and tea. Play-Doh and Polly Pockets. Young and naive. Technology completely changed the way we waited and we grew up too fast. The simple things in life seems more meaningful now. We grew up in the age of transition and have become the generation of nostalgia.”—this explains the 90s kids (via ladymargaerytyrells)
“If you’re struggling, you deserve to make self-care a priority. Whether that means lying in bed all day, eating comfort food, putting off homework, crying, sleeping, rescheduling plans, finding an escape through a good book, watching your favorite tv show, or doing nothing at all — give yourself permission to put your healing first. Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and today, whatever you do, let it be enough. Feel your feelings, breathe, and be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can to cope and survive. And trust that during this time of struggle, it’s enough.”—Daniell Koepke (via internal-acceptance-movement)
I sat up from a bad dream. He touched my bare back with his warm hand, “babe, everything okay?” I laid back, he grabbed me close and just held me tight until I fell back asleep. I felt so safe in the arms of a stranger.
“I was by myself for a pretty long time. I needed to do that. I think everyone that I know has wanted to do that or needed to do that at some point. I think when you spend enough time when it’s quiet around you and you don’t open your mouth for three or four days, there’s parts of your brain that can kind of rest. I think when we’re out in the world and we have to talk to people, we edit ourselves. You know, we have to like, act a little bit. As honest as we may be as humans, when we’re out here, we’re all kind of wearing mirrors on our faces. You know, constantly reacting to how to react to the people around you. And I think when you’re alone for a long enough time, you can feel a lot more peace.”—Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, in an interview speaking about living in his father’s cabin for three months when writing ‘For Emma, Forever Ago’. )
We’re always so concerned about time—wasting time. We disregard relationships that are not “worth our time.” What’s the point if you don’t see yourself marrying them, right? Well, every relationship is special. Whether it’s 30 seconds, 30 days, 30 years. Every one you meet has a story. Hear it. Some may impact you, others may not. Point is, we don’t have to fall in love with every one we meet. Shit, we don’t have to be in love with every person we have sex with. Sometimes, we gotta stop chasing love. Enjoy the people or the things that simply make you happy, in the moment(s). Share time with someone without trying to find something to fall in love with. Stop analyzing. Take your mind out of it and just enjoy them, their company. Be happy. Feel the moments without the feelings.